


strangely (he feels at home in this place)

by deaddandelio_n



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Issues, Light Angst, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 07:11:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17935205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deaddandelio_n/pseuds/deaddandelio_n
Summary: surely the ultimate anthropologist would be sure of himself, right? or maybe he needs someone to reassure him.





	strangely (he feels at home in this place)

**Author's Note:**

> this takes place kind of in canon before the killing game starts and hopefully never does!

As Shuichi ran the brush through Korekiyo's hair, he wondered when this began. If he had to take a wild guess, it started in the library. 

Another sleepless night had approached Shuichi, and he decided to read to help him relax. However, he was out of books in his room and he had read the books in his lab about ten times each. He had to go to the library. Normally he would avoid that area of the school, the basement just gave him weird vibes, but Kaede had told him about all the books about each of their talents, and it intrigued him. So, he ventured to the basement in the middle of nighttime. 

He slinked through the doors, being greeted by the smell of old books and dust. It was a smell he hadn't grown accustomed to, rarely going in the library unless to meet someone. Brushing off the musty smell, Shuichi started scanning his eyes over the titles and authors of some of the books. He spotted some manga, some books on music, sports, and some textbooks over various subjects. A smile bloomed across his face when he saw astronomy books and books over music. For a minute he wondered if they were ever read, but he decided to not give it much thought before walking closer to the shelves. 

Shuichi ran his fingers over the spines of the books, taking out the occasional book and fixing it to face the correct way. There was a peacefulness he wasn't expecting from the whole library. It was quiet, there wasn't anyone else in there, and he felt himself growing a little tired. He thought it might be the nostalgia of being in a library that made the whole situation they were in a little more tolerable and calm. In all honesty, he didn't really care. He was glad to finally have some sense of equanimity in that godforsaken school. He had pulled out a book on criminology that caught his eye when he heard someone speak. 

“Shuichi.” a voice said, rather calmly. Shuichi jumped slightly before turning around. He knew who it was before he turned around but was still mildly surprised to see the person in question's face. 

“O-oh, hi Korekiyo.” to which Korekiyo nodded and looked around them. 

“You're in the library this late? Curious,” he muttered, “why aren't you sleeping?”

“I-I couldn't sleep,” Shuichi replied, “I was reading, but I ran out of things _to_ read.”

“Ah, I see. This school is quite unsettling, is it not?” Shuichi nodded slightly in response, “Do you need some suggestions? I have amazing books on human culture and history.”

“I'm good, thanks, though.” Korekiyo adjusted his hat, watching Shuichi with curiosity in his eyes. Shuichi felt a little heavy underneath his gaze, and had to look away or else he thought he might have died. 

There was a pause, both of them looking around. Korekiyo was rather close to Shuichi, and Shuichi felt a little uncomfortable. Not that he felt comfortable at all in the school, but he felt especially uneasy with Korekiyo towering over him, bandaged hands interlocked in front of himself. Finally Korekiyo let out a sigh that was a little muffled by his mask. 

“Shuichi, do you have a moment?”

“O-of course! What do you need?”

Korekiyo cleared his throat and straightened his shoulders. He looked Shuichi dead in the eye. 

“You are transgender.” Korekiyo spoke a little slower than normal, and Shuichi was shocked, to say the least. 

“What?”

“Are you denying it?”

“No, I-I-” Shuichi sighed. The only word his mind could think of was _stealth_ and how he hadn't been called out for his gender identity in years. 

He was a freshman in highschool when he finally realized. Shuichi never understood quite why he wasn't like other kids, hating playing dress up and hating the way he looked. He finally cut his hair, by himself, and purchased masculine clothing. Never before had he been proud of himself, but when he stood with his chest hidden, he felt proud. It was the definition of gender dysphoria that finally made him feel like he _understood_ and he finally knew what he _was_.

But God, he hadn't been called out in years. He passed well normally, wearing loose clothes or clothes that hid his figure. Wearing his hair in his face helped, too. 

Korekiyo stood looking at him expectantly, and Shuichi took a deep breath before answering fully. 

“How did you know?”

“Simple. You hide your chest with incorrect methods. It is damaging to the body to use bandages,” Korekiyo gestured to Shuichi's chest. Shuichi slumped against the shelves, looking down to the ground. “I wondered why you needed bandages, considering I saw you take them from the warehouse. But using deductive methods and miss Akamatsu, I figured it out.”

“Kaede told you?” Shuichi was a little hurt by this, considering he told Kaede in confidence. 

“No, she just implied you were wearing the bandages. I took a guess.” 

A silence fell over them. A silence that Shuichi could feel himself choking on. Shuichi was trying to figure out how Korekiyo got lucky enough for that guess to be correct, but he decided that didn't matter. Korekiyo knew, and it was apparently for a reason.

“Why is this important?”

“I have questions about gender. Being the ultimate anthropologist, I know much on indigenous peoples and their lifestyles. However, I'm most intrigued by the ‘two-spirit’ cultures. Humans are beautiful, male or female. But I wonder, what about those that feel like both? What about those that feel like neither?”

Shuichi was a little taken back by Korekiyo's question. He'd never thought of people outside of male or female, nor did he know what ‘two-spirit’ was. Korekiyo was looking away, eyes scanning over another shelf of books. Taking a breath, Shuichi looked up to meet Korekiyo's eyes. 

“You wanted to know because you feel-”

“Outside of the binary. Some days I wish to cut all my beautiful hair off, and others that I want to keep it. Traditionally female clothing has always intrigued me.” with these words, Korekiyo met Shuichi's eyes. His hand hovered around Shuichi's wrist. Shuichi met him halfway, holding hands with Korekiyo. It wasn't intimate. It was just comforting. 

“Is it just that?”

“I feel what one might call gender dysphoria. However, it fluctuates. There's no way to calm it, other than to wait until it dissipates.”

“There's no passing when you're not binary,” Shuichi realized out loud. There was a slight look of pain in Korekiyo's eyes as he looked down, and Shuichi tightened his grip, “Kiyo, that must be hard.”

“It is through humans like you that I find inspiration. You're living your truth, and that is _beautiful_. I've always found transgender humans to be fascinating. I have no other word to describe it than beautiful.”

Then, they were hugging. Shuichi didn't know who started it, and he didn't really care. Korekiyo's arms wrapped around him as if he would die without Shuichi's life support. And maybe that was the truth. Korekiyo's words played in Shuichi's mind, words like ‘ _inspiration_ ’ and ‘ _beautiful_ ’. It dawned on him that he probably didn't have support. Shuichi sniffled into Korekiyo's shoulder. 

“Are you alright, Shuichi?” they pulled apart, arms still on each other. 

“Yes, I'm just,” Shuichi sighed, “I'm glad you talked to me about this.”

“I am glad as well. I had to speak with someone about this, and I'm glad it was you. You're a respectable man.”

“Wow,” and to Korekiyo's confused face, Shuichi quickly added, “no one's ever called me a man before.” 

“You're a gentleman, Shuichi. Perhaps Gonta could learn from you?” Korekiyo's eyes sparkled with a smile. For a minute Shuichi thought about Korekiyo without his mask, but brushed the thought off. _Baby steps_.

They embraced again, Shuichi nuzzling his face into Korekiyo's shoulder. They stood like that for what felt like forever. Shuichi almost didn't want it to end. However, he let out a yawn. Korekiyo pulled away, pulling his arms away too. Shuichi almost made a noise of protest at this, but stopped himself before his tired brain could embarrass himself and ruin the moment. 

“You should get sleep. However, we should see each other soon.” to which Shuichi nodded, covering his mouth as he yawned again. 

“How about lunch? We could meet in the garden.”

“That sounds excellent. Shall we walk to the dormitories?”

The two walked in almost complete silence, save for Korekiyo humming slightly and Shuichi yawning. When they finally reached their rooms, they said quiet goodbye's and goodnight's. Shuichi retired to his bed, finding himself more tired than he thought, and a hell of a lot more relaxed. He lay in bed for a few minutes looking up at the ceiling. 

Maybe he'd bring up the lipstick at lunch.   
\--

A couple days had passed of Korekiyo and Shuichi meeting during lunch and in labs and just wherever they could. It became a habit for one to take messages for the other and for them to stay in the library until late hours of the night. Shuichi couldn't remember the last time he had a friend this close. He didn't dislike it, but something felt wrong about it. 

They were sitting in the courtyard, so late that the sun was coming up. Korekiyo was talking, and Shuichi played with the grass and plants tickling his ankles. 

“Nevertheless, I would be horrified if Kiibo sighed.” Shuichi giggled at Korekiyo's statement. He looked up to the sky and back to Korekiyo before resting his head on his shoulder. 

“Can Kiibo sigh? Can he blink?” Shuichi kept giggling. Korekiyo let out a chuckle, too, and sighed.

Korekiyo turned to look at Shuichi, so Shuichi raised his head and looked back. They locked eyes for a while. It had been established a while back that they both enjoyed eyeliner and mascara, but it was only just now that Shuichi decided Korekiyo looked _really_ good with it on. In fact, without even seeing his full face, he decided Korekiyo was beautiful. As if reading his mind, Korekiyo spoke. 

“You are quite beautiful, Shuichi. Your personality and looks have always intrigued me.”

Shuichi could feel his face get hot as he mustered out a “Y-yeah?”

And it happened in one swift motion. Korekiyo pulled down his mask and their lips pressed together. Neither of them dared to open their mouths, so instead they just kissed soft and gentle. It was sweet, Shuichi gripping the grass and grabbing one of Korekiyo's hands. When they finally pulled apart, they were wrapped up in each other’s arms. 

“That was nice.” Shuichi mumbled into Korekiyo's neck. 

“Good.”  
\--

Shuichi ran the brush through Korekiyo's hair and decided this is what he wanted to do if he was stuck at this school. He could only see Korekiyo's back, but imagined the relaxed look on his face. It made Shuichi smile as he continued to brush. He hoped they were found soon, he hoped they would be able to do things in the real world soon. However, there was a part of him that didn't care. 

Because at least he had _somebody_. He had somebody who understood and not only that but he had more than Korekiyo. There was a school full of people that at least tolerated him for the most part. 

And he was content. There was no other word that could really describe how he felt other than content. And if he was being honest, it had been a good couple of years since he had felt content or calm or any of that other junk. 

“What are you thinking about?” Korekiyo asked, softly. 

Shuichi tossed around the idea of being honest, and decided on just saying, “About how relaxed I am.”

“The feeling is mutual. You probably don't know how nice it feels to have someone else brush your hair. Especially someone as gentle as you.” 

“Good.” Shuichi smiled. A soft quiet fell over the both of them. 

A quiet that Shuichi could feel himself enjoying.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading xx <3


End file.
